So it's homecoming week here at K-State, right? And each year, Kappa has a little shindig with our fraternity partners. So I'm at this function at Kite's in Aggieville, where the seniors GET TO DRINK! BECAUSE THEY ARE OF AGE! AND NOT UNDERAGE!
So I walk into Kite's, and the doorman chases me down with his Sharpie and puts Xs on my hands. I do not think about the implications of this until I see my lovely sisters with their drinks. I go back to the doorman and I'm all, WAIT! I'M TWENTY ONE. LOOK, I HAVE PROOF. And he turns the Xs on my hands into OKs and shows the bartenders that I'm legit. (too legit to quit).
So I get my Dos Equis, and I'm all minding my own business, drinking my beer, wondering with my friends why two freshmen just got kicked out. this HUGE BOUNCER runs up to me and points to my hands and is all, "THAT'S WEIRD!" in his little Sassy Linebacker voice. He GRABS MY WRIST and pulls me out of the bar. and I'm all, EXCUSE ME, UP THERE, I AM TWENTY-ONE AND MY HANDS CLEARLY SAY OKAY, NOT X.
So he's all PUSHING ME OUT THE DOOR (because apparently that is ever appropriate for a 6'4" linebacker to do to a 5'2" girl wearing pigtails).
Internet, I WAS BEING THROWN OUT OF A BAR.
an experience I never thought I'd have.
so the doorman is all, DUDE. SHE IS TWENTY-ONE. and Sassy Linebacker rolled his eyes like HIS LIFE. IS SO DIFFICULT. and shoves my beer back in my face. without...so much...as an acknowledgment of his unnecessarily sassy and shovey manner. I tried to find him and demand an apology, but he escaped into the dark and hazy crowd never to be found again. That, and he was SASSY LINEBACKER, let us remember, and I wouldn't trust him to not beat my 21-year-old bottom up.
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2 comments:
oh, my.
i wish i could have witnessed that and then beat him up. where were your sisters during this? obviously not protecting you well enough.
and when he disappeared, he was obviously super embarrassed. so...TAKE THAT linebacker.
Don't hold your breath waiting for an apology. Remember that I old you I was stopped by a policeman for a routine stop almost 45 years ago who looked at the restriction on my driver's license, and said, "I can give you a ticket for driving without your glasses". I replied, "I have contacts". He answered, "I don't care who you know". I clarified that I was wearing contact lenes, but I am still waiting for the apology!
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