embarrassing moments

What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?

I have several. Several memories that, upon reflection, were small glimpses into the depths of the potential of human humiliation. Most of which, I'm sorry to say, have no place being mentally relived, much less broadcasted on a blog. Perhaps, someday, I will feel comfortable with that level of self-disclosure.

What I'm wondering, though, is if you guys handle embarrassment the same way? Because, for a long time, I experienced this thing where I remember humiliating experiences and it was VISIBLE that I was reliving the trauma. I get this face. The face looks a lot like I am staring at something bright, or looking through a telescope with my bad eye. And it a lot of times requires sound effects.

I say this because I recently found out from my friend studying Psychology that this is more universal than one might think. There have been actual STUDIES on physical reactions when people are thinking about how mortified they were at some point. Everyone has an embarrassment face. And while maybe everyone else doesn't revert mysteriously back to Kenny Rogers featuring Wyclef Jean lyrics while squinting with Telescope Eye, it is interesting that the physical reaction is something a lot of people encounter. This, I think, is evidence of God's sense of humor. Because how hilarious would it be to watch 6 billion people have psychosomatic instances of humbling themselves?!

The Kill

The Huge, Hairy, Eight-Legged Culprit:

The Naive, Hopeful, Baiting Solution:

The Bait:

The Stroke of Brilliance:

The Happy Ending:

dying inside

Perhaps some of you remember when I had to come to the realization that Tom Hanks was a complete Scientologist. This led to a search for other people who believed in this. Will Smith was among them. Which is fine. I mean, my roommate pointed out a very legitimate point that stars with other religions are CRAZY. Their marriage falls to shambles because of decades of infidelity, their kids get subjected to the fallout that can only come from The Crazy, etc. But Scientologists, she pointed out, generally had stable families. They had long-standing marriages, well-rounded kids, and generally didn't really show up in the tabloids for shaving their head or addicting themselves to cocaine and losing 285 pounds in 4 days.

So maybe, just maybe, I can look past the fact that the Sci-Fi author openly EXPLAINED that the religion was not REAL, just a figment of his imagination, and focus on the good fruits of this religion.

But then, in my class today, I learned some horrible news.

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith have an OPEN MARRIAGE! The implications of this mean that they are allowed to have sex with other people, so long as they ask their spouse first. What Will says about this arrangement:

"Our perspective is, you don't avoid what's natural and you're going to be attracted to people... And if it came down to it, then one would say to the other: 'Look, I need to have sex with somebody. Now, I'm not going to if you don't approve of it. But please approve of it.'... In our marriage vows, we didn't say 'forsaking all others'. We said 'you will never hear I did something afterwards'. Because if that happens the relationship is destroyed."

This CANNOT be true. This is WILL SMITH. and while it is not my intent to judge someone's marriage and how it could possibly work, this is one of the media's ONLY healthy relationships, and how can they just sleep with other people and still say how completely in love they are with the other person, and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY AND GOOD, THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A GOOD IDEA, SMITHS.

June 12-- the day I...

fall in love.

what I wanted to say / what I said

Allow me to set the scene: I am at a coffeeshop that will remain nameless. I ask for a vanilla iced coffee.

guy: Okay! What size?
me: Uh, medium, please.
guy: Okay! 2% milk?
me: Actually, could I get skim milk in that, please?
guy: Okay! (writes 2% on the cup)
(shows me the cup)
guy: Does that look right?!


what I wanted to say: No.
what I said: Uhhhhhh...Yep!

this is a part of my personality I will never understand.

my current obsession

this

(the minute 3:35 sounds a lot like the minute 4:40 of this... yeah?)

injustice

So I'm at the Royals game, right? And it's college night. And so there is supposed to be $3.50 beers. So the guy is walking around, calling out, "BUD LIGHT! MILLER LITE!" ever so seductively. I beckon him up to the top section and see the button on his shirt says $7.25. and I'm all, "WHAT?!" Because what in GOD'S CREATION, would cause a cheaply-produced blend of barley, yeast and hopps, that probably cost mere CENTS to make, SEVEN DOLLARS AND 25 CENTS. This is an outrage. This is MILLER LITE we are talking about, people. So no, kind sir, I do not want that beer. I will instead go searching around the entire stadium for these supposed $3.5o beers, come to find out that they failed to mention the time constraint on these [still grossly overpriced] beers, and still end up buying a six-dollar Bud Light because here I am, in the middle of Kauffman stadium, left without a choice. It's one of those duties, like eating another slice of cake when you're already full, or buying that chair on the infomercials, that just makes you damn proud of being an American.

festering

I'm at Radina's. and I'm watching a catastrophe unfold.

This middle aged couple ordered lunch. Two sandwiches. I think the person who brought the sandwiches out brought the guy's sandwich to the wrong table. So the couple, the one whose one sandwich didn't show up, is just sitting there. Getting increasingly upset. And I was just thinking that this is a lot like life, right? We get upset about something and then just let it fester until we go and demand our money back. From the outside, I can tell that it is just a misunderstanding and, JUST GO TELL THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER AND THEY'LL MAKE YOUR SANDWICH, DON'T GET UPSET! But how often do people probably want to say that to me? This should be a learning experience about how I should just let people know when I am hurt or upset or feeling like I haven't been treatly justly. Just share these feelings, before they become HUGE AND LIFE-THREATENING.


I am fairly certain, however, that I will continue in my silent, bottling ways.

Ah, well.