a bone to pick

What is with people who say, "I could care less."? I mean, this implies that it is possible for you to care less than you currently do. That means that this would only make sense if you were talking about something you cared about. If you DIDN'T care about it, wouldn't you say, "I couldn't care less"? Meaning that it is physically impossible for you to care less than you currently do? Because you are at the absolute bottom of the spectrum of caring? I could care less about people starving all over the world. I could not care less about the material I learn in statistics. Right?

heaven

on Thursday night, I went with some lovely ladies to the Jon McLaughlin show in Lawrence. It was fantastic. A band called Parachute opened, and it was so good. You should go give it a listen. Then came Jon. Now, as I've told you before, I really don't like things that everyone just swoons over. I mean, he is musically talented and everything. But these girls and their swooning. Unfortunately for me, however, this is what we are dealing with:






So I had to internally swoon like everyone else because oh my GOSH, THIS MAN EXISTS?! LOOK AT THOSE HANDS! BUT BE CAREFUL TO AVERT YOUR EYES EVERY FEW SECONDS BECAUSE, LIKE THE SUN, THAT MAN IS HOT AND WILL FOR SURE SCORCH YOUR FREAKIN' CORNEAS.

Wanted: hot, holy, devotedly monogamous, drop-dead-gorgeous piano player boyfriend. Apply within. Amen.

love,
mara

genetic, life-altering differences

Something I wonder all the time is whether it is better to be a chick or better to be a dude. The OBVIOUS answer is being a dude.

Chicks are raised being more emotional and dependent on other people. It's hard for chicks to be friends with anyone. A chick's friendship with a dude is ALWAYS sketchy territory. Can some girls and guys just be friends for their entire lives, with no romantic feelings? Sure! Does it happen often? NO! At some point or another, one of them is going to like the other one. Being friends with other chicks, though, is even harder. Because they get mad and don't tell you, or talk about you to someone else, or steal your boyfriend, or eat McDonald's every single night without EVER GAINING ANY KIND OF WEIGHT. We have to wear makeup to look like people who do not even EXIST. We have to wake up earlier to shower and then do our hair...usually. Women have to* push a HUMAN out of their BODIES.

On the other hand, dudes have a lot of difficult developmental tasks too. They have to keep very close track of their thoughts. And they have to deal with emotions without society actually LETTING them deal with emotions. And proposing?! That would scare the life out of me. Not to mention, all those girl problems, they have to deal with the side effects. Women's The Crazy has the power to threaten their very lives at one wrong word choice error. (Note: stay away from "crazy", "too emotional", "irrational", and "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN!"). Men have a more embarrassing puberty development. Boys get less support from people, usually. Boys have a bad rep, be it true or not (it is). Men even die sooner.

What it comes down to, I think, is that women have to shave their legs.

In conclusion, being a boy is easier.

amen.
mara

*GET TO

Kappa: A Day in the Life of the Left-Six

it takes a lot to make my roommates and i watch something more than Beyonce and her call to all the single ladies. but a very close competitor:

compliments of Tricia Robben:




you might also want to watch Natalie's "Portal: A Day in the Life of a Turret". It's for nerds, but it's hilarious.

love,
mara

chilly

So why did they make gloves? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I would think it would be so that one can maintain finger dexterity whilst getting hypothermia. HOWEVER, Why is it impossible to text or button buttons or do anything else while you're WEARING them. In essence, we should just all wear mittens. They're easier to make I bet and provide the same level of access to one's fingers. That's all I'm saying.

2 orders of business

1) Last night, I saw Slumdog Millionaire. I regret to say that, despite the fact that everyone was saying how BRILLIANT it was, and that I usually do NOT like things everyone else likes (how scene I am....), it. was. brilliant. I want to buy it. No, I want to date it. No, I want to spend the rest of my life with it in my arms. It was so fantastic that I can't ever be with anyone who is not Jamal. It was so fantastic that I cried of joy-- which is rarely a reason I cry. It was so fantastic, that all I could do on my way home was turn off the radio and praise dear sweet Jesus for divinely inspiring that brilliant idea.

2) Apparently, people with large, prominent chins cheat on their significant others. I have never read this website, but my dear, sweet, loving friend showed me the link so that I could be aware of my innate cheating nature as well as how this affects my chances of marriage. (See: "less attractive to men looking for a long-term partner", and, "men will shun women with such masculine features when looking for a long-term partner".)

I can't say I'm surprised.

She with Masculine Features and Sexual Assertiveness,
chinny mara.

revolutionary road

I have this tradition, right? I sincerely love movies. And ever since an incident in high school (where I had plans to see The Holiday with my friend, and she said she'd meet me there, and she didn't, and I inadvertently saw THE HOLIDAY. ALONE. TRAINWRECK.), I really see the beauty of self-dates. Yes, that means going alone. Considering I have no class on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I have a lot of times where I can fit in a self-date. (cue: all Internet's eternal damnation and judgment for this saddest of traditions. Get it all out now, or else you will entirely miss the point of this story.)

This has led me to some great movies. The other week, I saw Last Chance Harvey. I feel like it kinda got lost in a swarm of new movies, and it was surprisingly great! I would even--brace yourselves-- buy it. And my standards are fairly high, considering I am poor. And also that movies have LOST my favor on account of SINGLE SCENES, people. Adam Brody ACTUALLY kissed the mom in The Land of Women?! Jim Carrey ACTUALLY received sexual favors from a slutty grandma in Yes Man!? Not that these two were exemplary movies before, but I digress.

Last night, I went to see a movie I have been fairly excited about: Revolutionary Road. It's the one with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. On the one hand, it was one of the most fantastic casting jobs. The acting blew my mind, it was so fantastic. That being said: I hate this movie. I can't go into why, clearly, because some of you will see it. But WHAT IS THE POINT, of making me lose hope in MANFREAKIN'KIND?! I am a fairly pessimistic person usually. and I left that theater in despair. Unless the movie is based on real life, there is no reason to cause the second Great Depression. Leave me SOME SEMBLENCE OF JOY TO HANG ON TO. This is all I'm saying.

Sorry this doesn't pertain to real life.
But they can't all be winners.
Love, mara.