directionless

WHERE IS MY LIFE EVEN GOING.

Why is it that we go to elementary school, which is followed by middle and high school, which we learn is followed by college, and then... ?! WHAT?! WHAT IS NEXT?! the question that is slowly sucking the soul from my body.

Some people evade this question by choosing [real] majors. My oldest sister was an education major, so naturally she became a teacher. My middle sister majored in biology to become a nurse. ever the rebellious one, I chose family studies which is just as vague as it sounds. don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly believe in what I am studying. helping people, building relationships with them, giving them resources, being poor with them, etc. but it turns out that the very thing that drew me to my major-- the endless possibility of career paths-- is now what I am DROWNING IN.

WHY DID I DO THIS?! I clearly did not realize that four years later, the days until I graduate and am thrown off the gravy train would dwindle away faster than I could find gainful employment. I realize this is a common college-senior feeling but I'M NOT READY! I'm not ready to stop looking for jobs and start looking for a CAREER. to have to PAY BILLS. and to NOT BE A STUDENT ANYMORE.

and so, as I sit in my car awaiting my phone interview, I not-so-slowly realize, GROWING UP IS TERRIFYING, and there's nothing I can do about it but jump in.