the Year of Rejuvenation

At this time last year, I was making the super-ambitious New Year's Resolution to see a Coldplay concert. (I achieved this goal, by the way, and am an insurmountably better woman able to die happy because of it).

The way I see 2008 is best shown through the following analogy: I plan a trip to China (I don't know why here, really) and spend months preparing. I step off the plane and suddenly remember that WHAT?! I know not a single phrase of Chinese nor how to infer from familiar letters, or lack thereof. Cue the most frantic attempt at improvising known to man.

The Year of Improvising is neither all good nor all bad. It is merely full of events that caught me somewhat off-guard, forcing me to reevaluate the details of my life. I turned 2 decades old. I traveled to all 4 directions of the United States. I found my heart somewhat broken (in the same way you would say the Sistine Chapel is "neat", or monsoon season in India is "damp"). I started friendships with sweet new people while other friendships writhed on the floor gasping for air, (I am so one for the imagery). I increased my awareness of good music. I learned a horribly, wonderfully lot from Jesus and his Holy Antics.

I think I became more Mara than I was in 2007! That tends to happen with a year's time. It's truly dumbfounding.

SO, What does that mean, dear Internet, about 2009? The Year of Rejuvenation? It means I will make an honest attempt at doing the following things:
--Fill my time with people who I love and who love me
--Allow myself to be distracted from myself
--Always say yes to opportunities (WITHIN REASON!)
--Cleanse the parts of me that always like thinking about bitter things.
--Be optimistic (SHUDDER)
--Like myself.

Will I succeed in all these goals? No. Scratch that. Hells naw. But that is not really what the Year of Rejuvenation is about. The Year of Rejuvenation attempts to give me that gift which I am eternally unable to see; PERSPECTIVE. Perspective about being Mara. Does this all make sense to you? I venture to say no. BUT, having it up here might make me slightly more likely to take these goals into consideration.

The way I see the beginning of 2009 is this: You know those days, where it has just been like a hellish nightmare? And you had all these stressful things to do. And it seemed like you could please absolutely no one. and you cried. LOTS. Your mascara is all crusty and tarantula-y, you cried so much. But you know that feeling, after one of those days, where you wash your face? And it is one of the most divinely-inspired feelings in your life? That is 2009. Do you have to get up tomorrow and do more stressful, crazy things? Shyeah. But, after that wonderful feeling it's kinda like, Bring it on, World.