update

As far as that whole running thing goes...

the snooze button owns my life.

OWNS. MY LIFE.

SHINGLES!

I PASSIONATELY ENCOURAGE YOU TO CLICK ON THIS.

There is this woman, named Heather Armstrong, at dooce.com and she as revolutionized parenthood. In a nutshell, she blogs about her life as a mom and wife and person living on the planet. She is real and talks about things that are great and fun and also the things that are hard to deal with. It's this movement called "mommyblogging" and it is this fantastic support for moms so they all have someone to talk to who has been there before.

Allow me to just say that this woman is hilarious. and full of truth. but there are some people-- or shall I say, excuse my French, schoolboy bitches-- that like to send hateful things to her for no real apparent reason. Out of a STROKE OF GENIUS she turned all these ridiculous things into a website so she can profit from their stupidity when you visit it. so do it. and then read dooce every day. You won't regret it.

I am going to start documenting a change I am implementing. I am going to be a runner. And by runner, I hope you know that I mean One Who Runs When Feeling Somewhat Fat. It is a new dieting strategy wherein I base my entire fitness regimen on what I see when I look in a mirror in my bathroom. The only other part of this fitness regimen is drinking lots of water. Nothing else will really change about what I eat. Because I love food. And God gave that to me, so I might as well embrace it, right?

I should probably also mention that this has a good deal to do with the fact that I accidentally told my sister I'd do this church 5k with her, only to realize that I THINK I HAVE ASTHMA, AND I AM NOT JOKING. I will spare you how ridiculously few blocks I can run before I am gasping for air, tackling passersby, and writhing on the ground in agony. An exaggeration. Or not.

I am only doing a mile right now, because otherwise there's a fair chance I'd die. BUT, today my mile was 10 minutes, which is 5 minutes shorter than it was when we were required to run that mile in sixth grade and I was one of the very last people past the finish line. Woo!

If you stay tuned, I might even treat you all to pictures of my I've-run-16-steps-and-I-look-like-a-tomato face.

Lucky you.

shady things

What my textbook says this is: a hypertension test






What this looks like: malpractice.

Please note eye contact.